You’ve been chosen to be the maid of honor. Congrats! Many brides ask you to be their maid of honor for a reason – either because you are their closest friend, the most organized of your friend group, or the most supportive person to help her the reach the end of the aisle. They trust you, so expect to be there for anything and everything the bride may need. There are various maid of honor duties you will have to fulfill to help the bride plan her wedding.
This is a super special time for you and the bride to bond and for you to act as the right-hand woman for everything the bride may need. Although the sheer amount of tasks you have to do may seem daunting, take a deep breath! The bride is going to have a much less stressful wedding experience with the help of her beloved maid of honor.
What is a Maid of Honor?
For those without much wedding experience, the maid of honor is essentially the bride’s number one bridesmaid. The maid of honor is the bride’s equivalent of the groom’s best man. You may see or hear many refer to the maid of honor as the “MOH” for short.
More than the other bridesmaids, the maid of honor is responsible for helping the bride make it to the big day. We’ll break down all of the maid of honor duties you should expect if you are chosen for this role below!
Maid of Honor vs. Matron of Honor
You may have heard the less common term “matron of honor” before as well. The matron of honor is the same as the maid of honor – it’s just a different name for the role. Typically, the difference between maid vs. matron comes down to marital status. If the MOH is married, she is considered a matron of honor. If she isn’t married, she is called the maid of honor.
What Does the Maid of Honor Do?
- Support the Bride
- Attend Fittings and Shopping Trips
- Lead the Bridal Party
- Plan the Bridal Shower
- Plan the Bachelorette Party
- Answer Guests’ Questions
- Prepare a Toast
- Help with Wedding Planning
- Help the Bride Get Ready
- Assist the Mother of the Bride
- Act as Messenger for the Bride and Groom
- Keep the Bride Calm
- Make Sure the Bride Eats
- Sign the Marriage Certificate as a Witness
- Assist with Bathroom Trips
- Collect the Gifts
- Have Fun!
Pre-Wedding Maid of Honor Duties
Before the wedding day, there’s plenty of planning to do! Prepare for these pre-wedding maid of honor duties.
Support the Bride
First and foremost, the maid of honor is responsible for supporting the bride. Whether this means running errands, helping her decide on vendors, or just lending a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen when the bride is stressed.
Some brides may ask a lot out of the maid of honor. This could include attending cake and menu tastings (yum), helping to make invitations, making homemade decor or wedding favors, or helping choose the color scheme. In other cases, the bride may hire a wedding planner, which would take a lot off your plate. No matter the case, be sure to help out with anything the bride may need. It’s a commitment for sure, but your help will not go unappreciated.
If you’re not sure how much help your bride will need, ask early! Make sure she knows that you want to help as much as possible, and that you are ready to make room in your schedule for whatever she needs.
If you’re worried about the time commitment required, express this to your bride early on. Being the maid of honor is a lot of work, but it’s also rewarding and a great way to give back to your friend. Try to make it work if you’ve been chosen – create shared calendars or spreadsheets to stay on track so that you can support your friend.
Attend Fittings and Shopping Trips
This may be a fun and exciting part of the job (but don’t think of this as a job). Typically, the bride wants you to accompany her for wedding dress shopping trips and also may need your opinion on bridesmaid dresses.
Make sure your schedule is open for shopping trips and dress fittings. Your bride may also want your help with non-fashion related shopping trips, like checking out venues, vendors, or buying supplies for DIY decorations.
Lead the Bridal Party
As the maid of honor, you may also be considered the leader of the bridesmaids. Prepare to answer many questions and concerns from other bridesmaids and make sure everyone is on the same page with details like planning the bachelorette party and buying/altering dresses.
If you don’t know all of the bridesmaids well, try to send out an introduction email or text early on to get all of their contact information and to get the ball rolling. You may even consider getting the group together before the nitty gritty planning begins so that you can get comfortable spending time together. If you have the time and the inclination, schedule a girls night out (or in) to get to know one another.
Leading the bridal party also means keeping the peace. Ideally, everyone will get along splendidly, but this isn’t always the case. If the bride’s high school friends are clashing with her BFF from college, try to mediate and shut down any drama before it reaches the bride. The bridesmaids should be helping the bride feel less stressed, not adding to her plate by fighting amongst one another. As maid of honor, try to shield the bride from any issues within her bridal party and encourage the girls to get along for their friend’s sake!
Plan the Bridal Shower
This is one of the most important roles of being a maid of honor. Planning the bridal shower may take a lot of your time, too, depending on if you need to choose a venue, order food, make decorations, or send out invitations. You may also need to come up with bridal shower games if you are in charge of planning.
The bride’s mother may also help plan the bridal shower – be sure to consult her, as she may want to be included in the decisions. The other bridesmaids should also assist you, but remember that you are running point. Working as a team is fine, but its’ the maid of honor’s responsibility to take the lead and make sure everything runs smoothly.
The bride herself may also want a say in her bridal shower. Ask the bride early on whether she wants to be involved with planning her bridal shower, or if she wants it to be a total surprise. This is also a good time to get her availability for other events so that you know her schedule for planning any surprises.
Plan the Bachelorette Party
The bachelorette party is also very important, and this falls on the maid of honor to plan. There will be more or less planning to do for a bachelorette party, depending on if you’re traveling far for a bachelorette weekend, or keeping it local and low-key.
Ask the bride what she wants in a bachelorette party – there are plenty of fun bachelorette party ideas to choose from, but some brides are more particular than others. Make sure that you plan a bachelorette party that appeals to the bride, not the bridesmaids. It’s her party, so you should choose activities that would be fun for her primarily.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help from other bridesmaids, because you most likely have a lot of other stuff on your shoulders. Bridesmaids are not just a part of the bridal party to look pretty, they can offer you a ton of help if needed. This is also a time for you to enjoy yourself and have fun! After all, you’re planning a party. Don’t forget to come up with a fun bachelorette hashtag for the weekend as well!
Answer Guests’ Questions
Wedding guests usually come with a ton of questions. To avoid overwhelming the bride, this may also be your job. Make sure you know all the wedding details like the back of your hand. It’s important that all guests know of all the wedding details.
Offer to act as the point-of-contact for the bride. She has enough to worry about without having to respond to texts, calls, and emails from family members and other guests.
Prepare a Toast
During the reception, you and the best man will be expected to make a wedding toast to the newlyweds. These toasts are usually filled with heartfelt memories, funny stories, and maybe some embarrassing moments you both have shared. You can also incorporate heartfelt quotes into your speech!
It’s best that you don’t prepare the toast the night before; you’ll probably be too busy anyway.
Begin planning your toast early on so that you feel prepared and confident on the big day! With extra time, you can practice giving the speech, or workshop it in front of your fellow bridesmaids to get their feedback.
Help with Wedding Planning
Finally, help the bride with any aspect of wedding planning that she may need. Planning a wedding takes a lot of work, and it’s your job as MOH to be there for her. Ask what help she needs early on in the planning process, but continue to check in to see what more you can do. She may not think she needs help at first, so be sure to keep checking in so that she doesn’t get overwhelmed.
Wedding Day Maid of Honor Duties
The big day has arrived! Show up early and ready to go so that you can keep things running and help the bride on her wedding day.
Help the Bride Get Ready
One the big day, the bridesmaids and the bride all get ready together. As the maid of honor, try to be ready extra early so that you can help the bride and the other bridesmaids get ready as well. This might include pouring champagne, running to meet vendors when the bride is indisposed, or simply kicking back with the bride for some fun before she walks down the aisle.
Make sure the bridal suite has everything you’ll need: champagne and snacks, bobby pins and makeup brushes, and anything else that comes up. Keep music playing so that everyone can have fun while they get ready, and make sure everyone is hydrating! While champagne is a fun pre-wedding tradition, you don’t want any bridesmaids stumbling down the aisle.
When the time comes for the bride to put on her beautiful wedding dress, you’ll be there to assist with zippers, dress adjustments, veils, shoes, jewelry, or anything else the bride needs assistance with.
As maid of honor, it’s important to make sure everything goes according to plan. It’s the bride’s big day; she’s probably nervous, and you don’t want anything else to stress her out. It’s your duty to make sure things go smoothly and on time. Offer to fill in wherever needed while she gets ready.
Assist the Mother of the Bride
It’s an emotional day for the mother of the bride as well. She will likely be in the bridal suite helping her daughter get ready, getting ready herself, and helping with other planning aspects. Offer your help to her however possible – whether it’s zipping up her dress, finding the in-laws, or listening while she talks about her little girl growing up.
Some brides may need a bit of space from their mother on the big day. While the mother of the bride surely means well, she may be hovering a bit, asking the bride too many questions, or stressing her out otherwise. Run interference if needed to give the bride some space without hurting her mom’s feelings. If needed, give the mother of the bride some tasks to keep her busy so that the bride can get ready stress-free.
Act as Messenger for the Bride and Groom
It’s the big day and it’s going to be hectic. If the couple sticks to the traditional rules of not seeing each other before they say their I do’s, you should help them stay separated. They planned the wedding together, however, so they may need to relay some information to one another.
Offer to play messenger of them so that they can wait to see one another but still stay in contact. Pack comfortable shoes for before the wedding, as you may find yourself running back and forth between the bridal suite and the groom’s chambers!
Keep the Bride Calm
The day of the wedding, prepare for the worst. The bride could be a nervous wreck, stressed, or even get cold feet. It’s your job as the trusted maid of honor to calm her down, assure her everything is going to be ok, and be a shoulder to lean on. Come prepared with her favorite snacks, a playlist of her favorite songs, and anything else you may need to calm her nerves.
Make Sure the Bride Eats
Both the bride and groom will be so busy getting married, they’ll forget to eat. Especially if drinks are flowing, sit the bride down with a plate of food and make sure she gets some of the expensive food she paid for. While she may not want to eat much before the ceremony, she should definitely eat at the reception to keep her energy up. Run interference with chatty wedding guests so that she can enjoy a few minutes to eat.
Sign the Marriage Certificate as a Witness
As the maid of honor, you’ll be required to be a witness for the bride and grooms wedding marriage license. That means being physically present for the signing to legally sign the marriage certificate. Don’t forget this minor, but extremely important, responsibility!
Assist with Bathroom Trips
It’s not the most glamorous job, but someone has to do it. It’s not easy to use the bathroom in a wedding gown, so the bride may need some help holding her dress off the floor and readjusting everything once she’s finished. Make yourself available for bathroom trips, and use this private time to ask if there’s anything else she needs help with at the reception!
Collect Gifts
If this is a big wedding, chances are, the newlyweds are getting a ton of cards and wedding gifts. Another job of yours is to make sure they are safe and sound. Whether that be routinely checking on them to make sure no one is stealing anything, or storing the gifts in a separate room once everyone has given their gift. You can also help load all the gifts into the appropriate car after the wedding so that nothing is left behind.
Have Fun!
Finally, don’t forget to have fun! Being the maid of honor can be a lot of work, but it’s also extremely fun to be a wedding VIP. Have fun throughout the whole process, and especially on the big day. Enjoy the food that you helped the bride pick out, tear up the dance floor with your friends and fellow bridesmaids, and enjoy mingling with other guests.
Final Thoughts
If this list has you rethinking the whole maid of honor thing, don’t’ sweat it. Your amount of work may vary depending on what the bride actually needs from you. Your responsibilities will become second nature. Thanks to you, the bride will have the wedding of her dreams!
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FAQs
What are the duties of a maid of honor in a wedding? ›
Maid of honor duties include planning the bachelorette party, making sure the bridesmaids dresses are ordered in a timely fashion, serving as the point person on the wedding day, giving a speech at the reception, being a model wedding guest (RSVP-ing on time, reserving travel and hotel with the room block early) and so ...
What's the most important duty of the maid of honor? ›Arguably the most important maid of honor duty is to support the bride through the stressful and joyful parts of wedding planning. As a part event planner, bridesmaids peacekeeper, and financial manager, the maid of honor needs to be able to wear multiple hats and lend a helping hand when called upon.
What does the maid of honor do and pay for? ›The maid of honor, along with the rest of the bridal party, is expected to cover all wedding attire costs. This includes the dress (plus any necessary alterations), shoes, and any jewelry you'll be wearing the day of. Occasionally, the bride will gift her bridesmaids with whatever accessories she wants them to wear.
What does a maid of honor do UK? ›1) Your maid of honour will be there to help you with the wedding planning. This may involve aiding your decisions on everything from your colour scheme, venue, and cake, to registering for wedding gifts, organising transport and accommodation, visiting wedding fairs, attending rehearsals, dress shopping, and beyond.
What are the responsibilities of maid of honor and bridesmaids? ›Today, the Maid Of Honor & Bridesmaids will support & help the Bride prepare for her wedding. This can include planning bridal showers, engagement parties, rehearsal dinners, sending invitations, and wedding day tasks like decorating, dressing, and calming any wedding day anxiety.
Does the maid of honor pay for the bridal shower? ›While the maid of honor may take on the lead and a majority of the costs, it's also becoming quite common for bridesmaids and even the mother-of-the-bride to chip in depending on who can afford what.
What is meant by maids of Honour? ›Definition of maid of honor
1 : an unmarried lady usually of noble birth whose duty it is to attend a queen or a princess. 2 : a bride's principal unmarried wedding attendant — compare matron of honor.
Is the maid of honor always expected to give a speech at the reception? It's definitely customary for the maid of honor to give a toast to the newlyweds at the reception. It's not mandatory, but it's a great idea—especially if the best man (or other honor attendant) plans to give one too.
How much should a maid of honor spend on wedding gift? ›The average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100, which is a great place to start, and you can increase or decrease that based on how close you are. If you're very close or related to the couple (and have the wiggle room in your budget), you may choose to spend more—about $150 per guest (or $200 from a couple).
What should a maid of honor speech say? ›- Introduce yourself – Tell people who you are and your relationship with the bride.
- Start with the bride – Talk about why she's a good person and friend.
- Share the love story – Share your version of how they met.
- Compliment the groom – Say some nice things about the groom.
Do maid of honors give wedding gifts? ›
Does the maid of honor get the bride a gift? Generally speaking, yes. Giving gifts is customary for the wedding party. (That is, unless the couple has expressed that they don't want presents from their VIPs.)
What should the maid of honour do the night before the wedding? ›This was a game changer, and something that every MOH should do. Basically huddle up the bridal party before everyone disperses for the night, give them an agenda/run of show for the next day, and reiterate all of the details - a few times for clarity.
Does maid of honour have to give speech UK? ›Give a Speech or a Reading
Depending on what the couple decide, you may be required to give a reading during the ceremony. The couple might also want you to give a maid of honour speech at the reception.
"Traditionally, the difference between a maid of honor and matron of honor is based on relationship status," says Chen. A maid of honor is unmarried, while a matron of honor has already had a wedding of their own. Their roles are the same; the difference is purely in semantics.
Who walks first matron or maid of honor? ›Either a maid or a matron of honor may walk first in the wedding processional. Typically carrying a floral bouquet, they'll often walk down the aisle alone or alongside the best man. If you include both a maid and matron of honor in your ceremony, you have the flexibility to choose either person to walk first.
Who is higher maid of honor or matron of honor? ›It's really easy—a matron of honor is a head bridesmaid who happens to be married, while a maid of honor is unmarried. In both cases, these roles are considered leaders of the bridesmaids, meaning it's an extra-special honor often bestowed upon the bride's sister, other close relative, or best friend.
Does the maid of honour wear the same as bridesmaids? ›A bridal party may contain several bridesmaids, but the maid of honour title goes to the main bridesmaid, usually the bride's sister or closest friend. In other words, she will be the right-hand woman of the bride on the wedding day. Generally, a maid of honour is dressed the same as a bridesmaid.
What is the difference between maid of honour and chief bridesmaid? ›In reality, the main difference between a maid of honour and a chief bridesmaid is nationality. In the US, the bride's BFF has generally been known as the maid of honour if they're single or the matron of honour if they're married. In the UK, the chief bridesmaid has traditionally been the person the bride relies on.
How much should a maid of honor gift? ›3) Maids of Honor – we recommend spend 15-20% of the cost your Maid of Honor is shelling out. The fact is your bridesmaids are most likely there to support you and have a great time.
Does the maid of honor walk alone? ›The Maid or Matron of Honor: The maid or matron of honor will walk alone after other members of the bridal party. The Flower Girl(s) and/or Ring Bearer(s): The children chosen will walk down the aisle one after the other. They can sit with their parents once they are done.
Do bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup? ›
"In my experience, it's about 50/50 on who pays for hair and makeup, and it's mostly determined by the bride's total budget," she says. "For example, at destination weddings, I see the bride paying for beauty services more, since bridesmaids have already shelled out money for flights and hotels, which really add up."
How many maid of honors can you have? ›Can I Have Two Maids of Honor? The answer is yes! Not only is having two maids of honor acceptable per modern wedding etiquette, but it's also a savvy move when it comes to the logistics of preparing for your big day.
Who created the maids of honor? ›No painting had greater historical and personal meaning to Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) than Diego Velázquez's 1656 masterpiece The Maids of Honor (Las Meninas).
When did Maids of Honor start? ›The tradition of the maid of honor (and bridesmaids) likely originated from Roman law, which required ten witnesses present to outsmart evil spirits. These evil spirits were believed to be present at all marriage ceremonies.
Does maid of honor walk alone? ›The Maid or Matron of Honor: The maid or matron of honor will walk alone after other members of the bridal party. The Flower Girl(s) and/or Ring Bearer(s): The children chosen will walk down the aisle one after the other. They can sit with their parents once they are done.
Does the maid of honor have to give a speech? ›Is the maid of honor always expected to give a speech at the reception? It's definitely customary for the maid of honor to give a toast to the newlyweds at the reception. It's not mandatory, but it's a great idea—especially if the best man (or other honor attendant) plans to give one too.
What's the difference between maid of honor and bridesmaid? ›Bridesmaids and maid of honour are two essential roles of the bridal party in a wedding. The main difference between bridesmaid and maid of honour is that the bridesmaid is a young woman who serves as the bride's attendant while the maid of honour is the chief bridesmaid.
Who should be your maid of honor? ›They should be best friends, family or some combination of both (your friend that feels like a sibling, or your sibling who feels like a best friend). If someone you're considering doesn't fit that bill, they probably shouldn't be your maid of honor.
Does the maid of honor walk down the aisle with the best man? ›The maid of honor walks alone since the best man is already at the altar. Both the ring bearer and flower girl walk alone, and in that order. Optionally, they can walk together if you prefer. The bride walks down the aisle accompanied by her father on her right arm.
Who does the maid of honor walk with? ›Typically, the maid of honor walks down the aisle with the best man. If you have two MOHs but only one best man, you could either have him escort both MOHs down the aisle or tap another VIP (such as one of your brothers) to serve as a second escort.
Does the maid of honor walk behind the bride? ›
Traditionally, the flower girl and page boys walk down the aisle first, scattering petals if they have them. Next the Bride and the Father of the Bride walk down the aisle. They are followed by the bridesmaids; the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid being the closest to the bride.
What should a maid of honor say in a wedding speech? ›What should a maid of honor speech say? People will be interested in hearing about your unique relationship with the bride, any personal anecdotes you can share about the bride and groom's history, and well wishes for the couple. Your toast should be positive and sincere.
Does the maid of honor pay for bridal shower? ›While the maid of honor may take on the lead and a majority of the costs, it's also becoming quite common for bridesmaids and even the mother-of-the-bride to chip in depending on who can afford what.
What does maid of honor say about bride and groom speech? ›Talk about the bride (why she's a good person and friend, share a story to illustrate it) Tell the love story (The most romantic version of how the bride and groom met) Talk about the groom (Compliment him, why he's great for your friend, what he does for her etc) Celebrate the couple (Why they're so good together)
What do the maid of honor and best man do? ›The maid of honor will help the bride get dressed and help iron out mini emergencies that should crop up. The best man will help ensure all of the ushers are dressed and get the groom to the wedding on time. During the ceremony, the maid of honor will hold the bride's bouquet while she participates in the wedding.
What is meant by maids of Honour? ›Definition of maid of honor
1 : an unmarried lady usually of noble birth whose duty it is to attend a queen or a princess. 2 : a bride's principal unmarried wedding attendant — compare matron of honor.
Typically, the maid of honor pays for smaller-ticket items, like a bachelorette sash or tiara, decorations, and swag for the other party guests. If you, as the bride, don't want to pay for these smaller items, our advice is to give your friends space to take the reins.
Should your maid of honor be your sister or best friend? ›There's no rule stating you absolutely must make your sister your maid of honor—or even include her in your bridal party at all.
How do maids of honor choose two friends? ›- Assess Your Bridesmaids' Strengths.
- Don't Be Confined By Gender.
- Consider Choosing a Family Member.
- Make Sure Your Prospective MOH Can Afford It.
- Ensure She or He Understands the Duties.
- Don't Be Swayed By Promises.
- Choose a Supportive Person.